Britons in Riga

August 3, 2007

Old Riga has changed since Ryanair opened its route from Stansted. Unfortunately, most of travelers from Britain are assholes, who want to get stoned and if they still can handle, to fuck some Latvian girls. The usual program for a British tourist is like this:

1) Get on flight to Riga and spend about 30 quid on alcohol on plane, so when you arrive you are “warmed up”.

2) Go straight to city center and search for some noisy club with cheap dance music. It is necessary to see some cute girls around, so you might try to hook them.

3) After about five pintes to get a bit more nasty and start to chat with local girls. It’s good also to act loud so everyone knows who’s the king here.

4) After about 15 pintes, when the clubs are closing and girls have said “fuck off”, you try to reach home.

5) On a way home that is probably your longest journey in your life, have a pee on Freedom Monument.

6) Pass out in hotel room or police station.

And yes, Freedom Monument is a very popular place to pee, quite a few people have been already arrested, but I assume that quite a few more were never court. Here’s some current news:

RIGA, July 11 (LETA) – This morning, the police detained another British citizen who was relieving himself at Latvia’s symbol of independence – Freedom Monument.

Aigars Berzins from the State Police’s Press and Public Relations Department told LETA that early morning at 4.20 a.m. police officers detained a drunken British citizen (born 1974), who was urinating on the Freedom Monument.

The detainee was taken to a police station, where alcohol tests showed his blood alcohol level at 1.

 Latvians always wonder why do Ryanair bring the worst tourists. Well, but what else to do in Riga? Do people abroad know anything about Riga? Nothing, there’s no ads in foreign newspapers. Besides architecture that is highly advertised there is nothing else that sells better than cheap booze and prostitution. Latvian government thinks that architecture and national folk songs is what can attract students, artists, CEO and other people from foreign countries. So it’s all country’s fail to launch a good marketing strategy and introduce people to other good things we have.

One Response to “Britons in Riga”

  1. kaasis Says:

    That’s how they act everywhere as long as you are talking about yobs. Britain can be the same in certain places especially in small willages where there are local cocks which will yell at you across the street in their typical accent which sounds if they hold a shit in mouth when they speak…just disturb you to find out if you oright mate.


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